When the official list of board passers came out on January 30, 2013, I scanned for my name. And since my surname is rare, I was expecting for it to appear. It did, but someone else’s name was attached to it. At first, I thought the PRC’s computers did a mistake on scanning the answer sheets and got it mixed up with another person’s. I refused to believe that I wasn’t the only one with that surname who took the December 16-17, 2013 Philippine Nursing Licensure Exam, but it turned out that another person (or probably a “relative” of mine) took the board exam in a different region other than Manila.
I know I’ve been through situations wherein I didn’t live up to the expectations of other people, but not being able to set out to do and accomplish my dreams and plans immediately after passing the board exam made me realize that I had to put those things on hold for the meantime until I pass. I really wanted to work for my family even though it wouldn’t be related to my course and study for the exam at the same time, but if I were to do that, either one of them would suffer. Hence, bearing the title “Registered Nurse” wasn’t important.
Despite of me trying to smile while confirming the list of board passers, mom knew what I felt during that time. I tried to say that I was sorry for not being able to fulfill what I wanted for my family, but I never did because dad didn’t even say anything, not even words of encouragement. Instead of telling me directly to never give up, my mom asked me how many times did my friend take the board exam.
I did remember that my friend took it more than four times before she passed. Well, at least that was what other people say. After my reply, mom told me that she didn’t care about what other people would say about me and wouldn’t be ashamed of what I did no matter how many times I take the board exam. In that moment, my heart finally gave in to those words and made me silently cry. I decided to tell one of my closest friends about the result of my board exam and come clean. There really was no point of being ashamed of that by hiding myself when in fact, people will eventually know about it.
Since I never enrolled in a review center, I was contemplating about what went wrong with my answers for the board exam. It could be the shading, but it could also be the analyzing, the amount of knowledge, or whatsoever.
I may not know exactly what other people feel, but I can speak for those repeaters who went through and will be going through the same experiences as I did.
If you were one of those people who passed the board exam on their second take or so, I salute you for answering an exam that’s over 500 items. It must have taken you more courage to do that despite of hearing what other neighbors and people say negatively about you by relying on your previous board exam result(s). I don’t want you to see yourself as a “failure”. Instead, I want you to tell yourself that you did your best. Because that was what I did.
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