I never liked nursing but I ended up getting a degree on it. Most likely because my best high school gay friends influenced me to take this course. It could be because Nursing that time was a growing hearsay campaign of landing a festive job. It was a promise of a wealthy future among everyone. I didn’t regret studying four years but I am even glad that this degree opened better and bigger opportunities for me outside of what this course could offer. I gained confidence and belief in myself because of refuting what options I can get from working on hospitals and other healthcare related institutions. I am blessed that I have taken this track, if not, I wouldn’t be writing this at all.
I graduated on time with no failing grades from a scholastic and pontifical catholic school in the country. I took up eight courses of Theology which I am proud of. I am embodied with Benedictine values. I didn’t just pass the board examination, I axed it with proud mark. However none of these credentials made me land a nursing job. It broke my heart at first, however, I thought of all thousands of registered nurses before me who still are searching and hoping to get a decent spot. Who am I to complain that time when I was a neophyte? I don’t have the right to rush things. Four years passed now from the time I stood before thousands of newly RN’s during the oath taking ceremony. I still haven’t found myself working as nurse. The American dream is over. Wake up.
I renewed my license last December easily without even giving any standard units as proof of me being active with my profession. I am happy and proud that Nursing gave me the option to liberate and choose which path to take.
When I was a junior college student, five years ago, our clinical instructor asked those students whose dream job is not nursing to stand up The noisy room suddenly translated to a dead bliss. Everyone didn’t know what to answer. Most students inside the class were either forced by their parents to take up nursing or peer pressured. Five percent were curious and blinded of the “wealthy” promise and a few seriously wanted to be a nurse. Two brave students dignified their credence. I together with a friend stood up without faltering. The whole class was surprised more so the instructor. She then asked us what degree we want to venture on, my friend said “Fine Arts” then I uttered my counter “Fashion Design”. It made me feel better. I was being true to myself.
Today I am one step closer to a mile walk in being the fashion designer I dream to be. If not for Nursing, I would’ve not come with decision to pursue what I am most capable of doing. This is my message for all, not generally for nurses, but the worst feeling of ageing is when you realize you haven’t done something to fulfill your happiness and worth. You are not being selfish. You are staying true to what you believe can make you happy. My family, especially my dad, wasn’t happy that I didn’t use my license to land a job. My parents may not be pleased that I haven’t gone through where they wanted me to be but I believe, with all my heart, I ended up where I needed to be. Somewhere I know I can flourish and more happy and that should make the huge difference.
So long Nursing for now. I know we’ve had ups and more downs in the past. I bet you still remember how happy I was, even beyond closed to tears, when I knew I was part of the graduating class. The books and notes are living proof of the uphill struggles I faced. You saw me worked hard, even harder, day by day of the four years that gone by just to claim the letters R and N after my name. I have gone through several plans and intents of going back but my heart belongs to a better and happier place. I wish one day, when we meet again, you will not relinquish me that I haven’t used my hard work to pay off all the hardships we’ve been together. One day you will see me with all the glitz and glamour of the world I wish to succeed. I will still recognize your existence and even after the runway show, where every single person are clapping their hands and adoring my work piece by piece, I’ll still acknowledge your presence. I wouldn’t be there if I haven’t met you. Till we meet again.
We are born humans, capable of doing everything and anything with our hearts desire. We were given the best gift of choosing what we want in life. We have the inherent right to make a choice. There are no right or wrong decisions but only choices left not chosen because of being frightened with the conditions. The best decisions are often times difficult at first and the happiest results are those choices chosen wisely by heart.
Don’t just dream big. Be fiercely ambitious.
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