Just a dream

Nurse thinking (Photo credit: visualphotos)
Nurse thinking (Photo credit: visualphotos)

During my college days, while I taking up Nursing and being in white uniform made me proud somehow that my dream of serving humanity and fellow Filipinos will soon come true. but as time goes by, that goal of mine slowly faded as I’ve seen my parents struggle to give us a nice and decent living. It has been said that working abroad makes you prosper financially and helps our government live up to its standard and may uplift our shrinking economy. My mind became mainly focused on how to land a job abroad, so I decided to work in a local hospital just to have a backbone and be equipped when opportunity knocks. At least it took me a year before I set my feet on a foreign land.

Nurse thinking      (Photo credit: visualphotos)
Nurse thinking (Photo credit: visualphotos)

I’ve here in the Middle East for 7 years up to date, and humbly receiving a good salary. I must be contended for what I have and achieved, and somehow thankful my profession dragged me out from poverty.

So where is the dream I once dreamed of – serving my country men and humanity?

Yes, I am giving my whole service and render care to those in need of my care. I provide good quality nursing services, and updated myself to the latest trends in Nursing. Why is it that I couldn’t find in my heart true happiness? Perhaps I didn’t find yet my niche. Day by day, I keep telling my self I save lives, alleviate suffering and give comfort to our clients when back home, many strive to get  medical attention and longing for our healing hands, yet we are miles away from them. Once, I asked myself if I am that bad for not staying and working long in the Philippines. I knew I am striving for perfection to a better life so I even set aside my ideals and principles as I was allured with luxury and big numbers on my paycheck.

One day, reality struck me at its hardest and woke up saying I wanna quit and venture out something like running my own business and discover the other side of me. I am not giving up Nursing, it’s just that I couldn’t even see myself 10 or 15 years from now still in white uniform, making a nursing care plan and worst pushing beds and do bedside care. I want to retire at an early age. free from any stress and not worrying at night if I gave the right medication to the right patient. I may be bold and ambitious, but that’s how things should be.

I still wonder where my once proudly stated ideals and principles are?

Maybe I can still serve humanity and fellow Filipinos in many different ways. and sometimes taking another path might direct me to the inner peace and happiness  I long for.

Or maybe it’s just a dream or only a frigment of my imagination.

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