“People that hold onto hate for so long do so because they want to avoid dealing with their pain. They falsely believe if they forgive they are letting their enemy believe they are a doormat. What they don’t understand is hatred can’t be isolated or turned off. It manifests in their health, choices and belief systems. Their values and religious beliefs make adjustments to justify their negative emotions. Not unlike malware infesting a hard drive, their spirit slowly becomes corrupted and they make choices that don’t make logical sense to others. Hatred left unaddressed will crash a person’s spirit. The only thing he or she can do is to reboot, by fixing him or herself, not others. This might require installing a firewall of boundaries or parental controls on their emotions. Regardless of the approach, we are all connected on this “network of life” and each of us is responsible for cleaning up our spiritual registry.”? Shannon L. Alder
Irritation, dislike, displeasure— they resemble this emotion: anger.
Feeling and getting angry is a normal experience. But, technically speaking, how will you define anger?
According to the American Psychological Association, “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.” It even has survival benefits during fight or flight situations when our body perceives threat or harm. However, when it gets out of control it can become destructive. Uncontrollable anger can lead to serious problems at work and in personal relationships, and may undermine the individual’s overall quality of life. And as a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, Charles Spielberger, PhD said that, anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes: (i.e., when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, same with the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline).
There can be a lot of reasons why people get angry. Here can be some of those:
- Pain (Whether it be physical or emotional)
- Losing something important
- Illness/Disease (Physical, Mental etc.,)
- Being bullied/subject of teasing
- Traffic jams
- Piled up school works and/or office works
- Bad customer service
- Getting embarrassed
Getting angry is normal, but constantly having it out of control is not. You might want to know some anger management tips that you can use the next time you get angry.
- Have some time out. You might think that ignoring and forgetting about your problem doesn’t help. But actually, it does. Well, I’m not saying for you to run away from your problems, but rather, sometimes, it’s good if you take some time out. Take some time out and remove yourself from the situation that is triggering your anger (i.e taking a walk, going out of the room etc.). Doing this gives you time to rethink your thoughts and help you calm down. And while you’re at it, you can also think of ways on how to calm yourself if ever you get in the same situation again.
- Practice relaxation techniques. Breathe in, breathe out. Think happy thoughts. Count from 1-10 and repeat until your anger starts to subside.
- Talk it out. No matter what your problem is, it is always better to have someone to talk to, to share things with. It can be a family member, a friend, or a significant other—what’s more important is that you have somebody to tell what’s bothering you, rather than keeping it all to yourself. It also makes you see the situation from another perspective, giving you a lot of insights that can help you in making a decision.
- Shoo resentment away. Holding a grudge against someone is never good for your health. It only makes things harder for you. You have to learn to accept the fact that not all the time everything happens the way you want them to be; and that people makes mistakes. You have to learn to forgive and move on.
- Sleep your anger away. As often as possible, try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep everyday. Sleep is an important factor in maintaining good physical and mental health. Because sometimes, getting deprived of sleep often results to bad mood and lack of concentration, which only makes you more prone to getting angry easier.
- Laughter is the best medicine. Well, laughter may not be the best medicine all the time, but at least, most of the time, it helps. Listening to jokes, having a good laugh and talking with people with good humor can help dissolve anger faster and brighten up your mood as it takes your mind away to the thing and/or things that make you angry.
- Have some “ME TIME” and/or Pamper yourself every once in a while. Swimming, taking a walk, listening to relaxing music, reading your favorite book, watching an interesting movie, getting some pampering, whatever it is, as long as it makes you relax, it helps. Doing these things help you relax and take your stress away and by doing so gives you a good way to shoo away irritation and anger in your system.
Hope this helps! Have a great wee, guys!
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