The best way to value something is to realize that it might be lost.
Earlier tonight, we had this emergency. My grandma had her 2nd attack. Nobody was at home except for me and my two other grandmas. I heard the loud shout from downstairs. I rushed. I saw people in our sala. They were reviving her. The others were just nosy spectators. I, on the other hand, initially didn’t know what I was gonna do. I was totally black-out. Good that in a matter of seconds, I got back to my senses.
I need not elaborate to you the whole scenario. I find it difficult recalling the details. One thing was sure, I had the most intense rush in my life for the second time around. And by the way, we successfully revived her. THANK GOD!
I was not that dumb at EMERGENCY NURSING. In fact, ER was one of my favorite areas in the hospital. I loved the rush. But this time, I lost everything I learned. I was blank. I forgot that I was a degree holder in NURSING.
When it pertains to family emergencies, it’s a totally different story.
With what happened tonight, I came up to a lot of realizations.
I never liked NURSING. I don’t like it. I thought I would never like it.
Never in my wildest dream did I see myself as a nurse. What I never dreamed of has become my reality right now.
I survived college with just PHN, NANDA and DRUG HANDBOOK on my shelf (believe me). I didn’t take any major subjects seriously. I was always complacent. I could remember how I almost lost consciousness during the demonstration on INJECTIONS; how my hand shivered on my first DR case; how I almost collapsed on my first OR case while holding a retractor; how my hands trembled when I performed some nursing skills like suctioning and NGT insertion.
Yes, this is way far outside of my comfort zone.
I took NURSING because it’s the only course that was covered in my CHED scholarship. PERIOD.
At one point, I wanted to shift into another course. Mind you, my parents just ignored me no matter how much I cried. If not for the advice of a friend and my elder brother, I never would have proceeded. But here I am, I got the degree and fortunately graduated with flying colors.
Many times I tell people that this profession is not for me. What they would usually say is that, “If you’re not meant for this, why did you survive the 4 years w/ that medal on your chest?”
It would convince me for a while. Then later on, I get lost again.
And tonight, I felt like there was a huge SIGN BOARD coming from the heavens which directly hit my head right on. I was totally awakened again. If I’m not mistaken, it seems like it’s telling me that I am what I have become for the good of those who need me, my family. Nobody else in the family is inclined to any sort of medical-related profession. I am the first.
Now I can say that what I am into is more than a profession, it’s most importantly a vocation. It’s a calling. It is something that I could never run away from. With that, I am embracing it fully now. I LOVE NURSING because IT HAS BEEN LOVING ME SINCE THEN. I SHOULD BE LOVING IT BACK.
I cannot discount the fact that a lot of times, it has helped me give life and save life. Thank GOD for bringing me here!
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