Neonates/ new born – so little, fragile and delicate.
One day, I heard one of my colleagues said “Only babies, they ONLY have babies in NICU”. I really don’t know what’s with her that day. She’s so annoying. Did she ever realize that she was once a baby? A dependent little creature? And what is her problem with these innocent lives anyway?
And yes!, we have babies, who only cries when they need something, lucky if not intubated, moves their limbs asking for help, longing for touch and care. Babies, who smiles at you when satisfied. We always get a sense of fulfilment in our hearts, for we are not just their nurses but like a mother as well. So here’s how the story goes..
I was a new nurse that time, assigned in the Neonatal unit, happy, excited, curious and quite scared for the thought that I will be taking care of small babies. A preterm was then born during my shift, very small and thin looking. He was assigned to me. You could see how the baby fought for his life, and how firm was his willingness to survive. He’s strong. I’m glad he is.
Everyday I’m so excited to go for duty just to see this baby. He really makes my day complete. He was fine and was able to adapt to his environment though only droplights and cling wraps gave him warmth. He is quite a fighter.
Then we have this excellent neonatologist who wants this and that, so irritating with the nurses, but so good if your own baby will be under her care.
Back to the baby…
Unfortunately, his parents couldn’t afford to provide all his needs and didn’t care about him that much. We surely did our best just to provide his needs like medicines, vitamins, diapers, etc. I asked for donations from other nurses and I was glad they cooperated. I even asked for breast milk from mothers from the OBW for it can be easily digested by his immature stomach. Even the above mentioned neonatologist volunteered to donate blood for him. What a lucky baby.
His improvement was evident because he gained weight as days went by. I came back for him after one day of rest. After wearing my scrub suit, I was so eager to see him. However, I couldn’t find the baby anywhere I look; he’s not in his crib, he’s not in the place where he should be. My heart was beating fast and I was worried and so affected. I just couldn’t accept the thought of….
Then a colleague approached me. Knowing who I was looking for, she asked,“Why? Don’t you know that…?”
I was not able to hear the other words she uttered; I just sat on the aisle, tears fell down from my eyes. I was sobbing. Nobody had the courage to tell me, they knew how much I cared for him. They wanted me to find it for myself. I acted as if I was the mother. Then the truth finally hit me: HE’s GONE.
He is an angel right now, he was an angel back then. He passed away without me on his side because he didn’t want me to see him during his CPR. I’m glad he was able to share is tiny life with me, with us.
He might be small but he’s a BIG part of me.
So, ONLY BABIES?
Never say “ONLY” babies, for they are precious gifts from God.
I’m currently working abroad and still chose to be a NICU nurse, TAKING CARE OF TINY LIVES..
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